Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Is anybody out there?

If you are reading this, you are truly loyal. It has almost been a year...wow.
Rex is one, he is talking up a storm and crawling everywhere and is SUCH a character! He is such a fun little man and brings us so much joy it's hard to describe.
I have been motivated to blog because I am in a very similar place than I was two years ago exactly, and I am sifting through my thoughts. Two years ago, I had surgery and was told I needed to try and have a baby and if I was unsuccessful within 8 months, I needed to be put back into artificial menopause. That's how my amazing little Rex came to be!
I am now a week away from my 5th laparoscopy and my brain is all over the place, so I need to refocus. I am battling feelings of sadness and frustration and simply being overwhelmed. While I am basically a pro at this surgery by now, it's a whole different thing now that I have a little boy in the picture.
What I know is this, God is good. In the 7 years that I have been battling Endometriosis, I have never been through a desert time that God has not brought me through. He hasn't only brought through, but he's grown me in that time and He's blessed me with a husband, and son through those times. So why is that I can still find space to whine and complain? I have been though it, and God has not failed me yet. His ways are not my ways, I dont always understand, but I dont need to. My faith has grown through all this, and I know it will continue to do so if I choose to let God do His work.
I pray that one day my instinct will be to be thankful and praise God, in all and through all things. I want to be a positive person whose faith is not shaken by circumstances on this earth.
My favorite verse ever:

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

It's so true. All I have to do, is look around at my family and the incredible friends I am surrounded by. A little pesky disease will not have the power to take away from the overwhelming blessings in my life.

As a treat, since you have been so nice as to read all this, I will share some of Rex's favorite words with you :)

"Booty"- yes i sang "shake shake shake" to him and now hes hooked...
"MO PEAAAAAASE"- give me more food or drink IMMEDIATELY
"Doggie, woof woof"-Grandma taught him that, definitely his favorite things to say.
"Mommy"
"Daddy"
"tanktu"- thank you
"BOP!"- bonk
"poooopy!"
"no"-what fun
"no tank"-no thanks-rare, but a little better than no.
"WHEEEEEEE!"
"Whoah"
"Uh-Oh"-usually preceded by intentionally dropping/throwing something on the floor.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sprickets(Jess Thompson this blog post might make you cry, proceed at risk of your tear ducts)

Have you ever had these horrid little creatures in your house? They are crickets that have long spidery legs and jump really high.

They come visit every winter and I HATE them!!!!! I loathe spiders and they just look like giant jumping spiders from the depths of evil town....yes evil town...

Anyway, so far I have killed two of them in odd ways because I could not find a shoe that I could get to without having to pass evil spricket. Erin had a brilliant idea that I should blog about all the different ways that I kill them since they have been unique thus far.
TRY to contain your excitement, I know it's hard...

Spricket Termination #1: I was in the kitchen and my only available weapon was a 40 pound bag of dog food. So I chased the spricket around the kitchen and hovered the bag over it and then let it fall. After 3 tries, I finally got the spricket, gave housemate Mike a headache, and scared the mcpoopy out of my dog. Success!

Spricket Termination #2: I was in the basement early after Rex's first feeding. Evil Spricket approached my son, said spricket got smashed with the husbands tool box. Don't mess with my baby Spricket!


It's spricket season, so fortunately for you all, I am sure I will have many more of these in the coming months :)

Jess, if you couldn't look away and you read this...I am so sorry...(kind of)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Mommyhood

I love being a mom. I really just love it. Rex has added so much to our lives and has extracted more love out of us then we knew existed. He has been such a great kid so far too. He is a good eater, and has chubbed up to almost thirteen pounds already! He sleeps from about 10 30 at night till 7 in the morning. He is not colicky and he smiles at us all the time. I have zero complaints about my firstborn, God was merciful:).
This boy is a real boy too. He grunts, burps, pees, and does other things...only like a boy can. He spits up all the day long, so we both go through many many clothing items per day. I am so very grateful for all the clothes he got because otherwise I would live in my laundry room. It has made me think that a great baby shower gift could be clothes for Mom too...
We haven't had to spend as much money on food and gas as we did when I was at work, which has stretched my maternity fund so that my first day back at work will be November 9th! I am loving every second that I have with Rex, its been such a gift! I also have met with my very wonderful Director Dana, and she has been really understanding and the schedule I have when I start working again will be absolutely perfect...things are definitely coming together.
Motherhood makes one reflect. He is only 2 months old, but he has already made me realize why my parents did what they did when I was growing up. I feel shame that I ever thought they were doing anything less than what they thought was best for me. I had wonderful parents who gave me boundaries and had strong expectations, I used to be such a brat and I never understood how much they loved me until now. It already breaks my heart to think that Rex will hate us at times and he will not always feel the love that we have for him.
I think that parenthood is the perfect example of our relationship to God. He loves us no matter what we do, it pains him when we are in pain, and He has nothing but our best interest at heart if we would only listen to Him instead of giving in to our selfish arrogance. It's really been amazing to be reminded of that every day. Very refreshing and it helps me be a little bit better of a listener. You know?

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Catch Up Time

As usual, I have been extremely neglectful of my poor little blog. If my little boy will cooperate, I will catch up on the last couple months.
In June and July a lot happened around here. I got huge, we had 3 baby showers, the nursery was completed, and Rex arrived!

First, I just have to say how grateful and blessed we feel. We have been so taken care of by our wonderful friends and family, both practically and emotionally. We are so thankful. Due to the incredibly generous people in our lives who donated money to my maternity leave, I can stay home with Rex until October. That is such a gift and it was really humbling to see God taking care of us through the wonderful people in our lives. Every day I think of how happy I am to be home and I think of the wonderful people that made that possible. Thanks to everyone for all the love and support.Things would be much more stressful without you!

So my due date was August 16th. In July at my 33 week appointment, it looked like Rex would not be waiting till August. I was already dilating and contracting. This sent us into a wee bit of a panic, there was much to be done. I had to pack my bag, get some last minute items and Wolf had to make sure he was reachable at all times. At the beginning of the following week, I went to the hospital having contractions about every 4 or 5 minutes apart. They discovered I was dehydrated and since it was 6 weeks early, they slowed the labor down and it stopped. While I was hooked up to the monitors, Rex's heart rate dropped pretty drastically once and very briefly. That won us an overnight stay in the Hotel Mercy Hospital. It never dropped again, but while we were there they did an ultrasound and discovered that Rex was a big boy and would have been fine if he had been born that night...We left the following afternoon, and continued the waiting game.
The next few weeks were long....and hot! I was contracting and continuing to dilate but the contractions weren't ever close enough together. My feet and ankles were no longer separated but now big cankles! Very attractive. My doctors and I feared me going to 40 weeks because of the size of Rex and the fact that I am not the largest person in the world. A natural birth was the preference, but the bigger he got the less like that would be. I did everything they told me to help jump start labor....Winnie and I and anyone else I could drag along went on lots of hot and sweaty walks. My feet hardly fit in my sneakers, it looked like they were bubbling out of them...so perty.
On July 29th my doctor said my water was ready to break any moment and I was now 4 cm....so she tried to help things along, and succeeded in starting some more consistent contractions. I contracted all night, and finally at about 5 am on thursday the 30th, we went back to Mercy. Contractions were about every 3-5 minutes apart. The on call midwife that checked me first was really nasty..like she almost made me cry. So, I walked around the hospital for about an hour and half trying to make the contractions come on harder and waited for her to go home. At 7 30, she finally did, and another midwife saw us. She said that Rex was not lodged in the way he should be at this point, which could either mean that he's too big for the birth canal, or his cord was in the way. If it was the cord, it would be extremely dangerous for my water to break somewhere other than the hospital, because the cord could come out with it. Plus she was concerned about the heart rate dropping the last time we were there. My doctor came in and agreed with all of that and they informed me that we would not be going home without a baby.Yay!

They admitted me about 8 am, drugged me up with the epidural, gave me patosin and we waited. The contractions came on hard and strong but he still wasn't making progress, so they broke my water and we waited some more. Every time I would contract, his heart rate would plummet, so they tried all sorts of things to try and move him around in there to get off his cord. Nothing worked, so at about 2 50 in the afternoon they told me it was time to get him about to make sure he was alright. I went in for the C section about ten minutes later and he was born at 3 21. The cord was all wrapped around his neck and he was face up, so its good they got him out!
He was 6 pounds 5 ounces, and 20 inches long and very healthy! My mom and wolf were with me throughout the whole labor and were wonderful coaches, I was so happy they were both there!

So, that is how our little Rex made his arrival. Now he's home and we are figuring things out together. My next post will be about my experience so far with motherhood...this post is far too long already to include that.

If you are reading this, you are a patient and loyal blog reader....thank you!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Hello again!

I promise I am done making promises I cannot keep...haha.

I apologize that it has taken more than a month for me to update!Let me see if I can catch you all up on life in the Wolf world.
For starters, I am 31 weeks pregnant now...only nine weeks to go! I have definitely reached the uncomfortable stage. I absolutely have the preggy waddle, and whenever I sit I knock the wind out of my lungs. Rex is definitely taking over.

I can feel his little hand or foot sometimes when he's stretching out which serves as a constant reality check that there really is a HUMAN BEING growing inside me. How does God come up with this stuff??

My sister Jessica designed the nursery and our families and friends helped her put it together. I finally got to see it last night, and it looks amazing! It truly is perfect and I feel so blessed by the hard work and heart that was put into it. If you are on facebook you can check out the pictures!

As it gets closer and closer its getting scary. Its a ton of responsibility and its hard not to worry about bills and the life changes and our financial stability. However, God keeps putting me in my place. I can't worry for too long before He reminds me yet again, that He is always ultimately in control. He did not create Rex and then disappear, He will provide what we need, when we need it, and probably in ways we would not expect. That's pretty much it, when I choose to believe that it is hard to continue worrying. He has provided us with an amazing support system and we know that we are far from being alone. We already feel so loved and supported by the people in our lives and we are so super thankful for that.

Life is getting busier and busier. Rex has got a strong little heartbeat and he's flippin around in there like crazy. As far as my OB's can tell, we are both very healthy and doing really well.
One interesting thing is that because of my past surgeries where they have severed certain nerves, I may not feel my contractions. Wahoo! I will welcome that if its true, but we shall see...

One awesome thing from recently is that Wolf and I escaped to Annapolis for a weekend to celebrate his birthday and that was so fun! We really needed that break and truly loved every minute of it. We came back feeling very refreshed. Annapolis is a really fun place to walk around, I need to take advantage of it more often.


I haven't had any new sonograms lately, so unfortunately I don't have any to post. If I do have another one, I promise to post them!

Let me know if there's anything I forgot to update on....

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Yeah about that...

Remember how I said that I wasn't going to take a million years to blog again?? Well, clearly I am a liar. Lately, at the end of the day my brain has resembled mush. However, today is Saturday and before I start the bazillion things I need to do, I am going to give you a bit of a pre-mush brain update!
As far as Rex is concerned, he has a middle name now! His name is going to be Rex Matthew Wolf. We both love the name Matthew and we also both really love Matthew Maloy. Yay for a great name and a great person!
Rex has been kicking and seemingly enjoys to do somersaults constantly. I can see my him move through my shirt now, its very alienesque...but fun! This weekend I am exactly 6 months pregnant. That means...very soon my big old belly will be replaced by a teeny little baby boy. How crazy is that?! I suppose now is the time to come out of denial about our "office" which is to be his room. So, today, Wolf and I are going to start picking our way through the rubble of our office/junk room, to make way for baby Rex. I have decided on having Monkeys as the theme of his room, because I really like monkeys and Wolf wont let me have a real one!

Speaking of my wonderful husband. He is getting really healthy! He's workin out every day and eating really healthy and he is being a very positive influence on preggo wifey. It is a little sad that my belly is growing as dramatically as his is shrinking...as long as never weighs less than me, we'll be fine! He's inspired me to get crackin on the Wii Fit again )even though it is consistently mean to me and always comments on my weight gain! I really do want to invent at Wii Fit program for the Big Preggo.I would make lots of money.

Hmm what else....

I can't think of anything at the moment, so I need to stop procrastinating my projects. Keep nagging me to blog, I always mean to but then I forget!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rex Wolf

So, my maternal instincts have proved to be correct! I am having a boy, a boy that is not afraid to flaunt his boy-ness...

His name really is going to be Rex. That is the name Wolf has always wanted to name his son if he ever had one, and it's growing on me. I haven't decided on a middle name yet, we'll figure it out soon though I'm sure.

The last couple weeks have been busy, but good. This past weekend I went on my first ever Women's Retreat with Grace. It was really wonderful. I had such a good time and I really loved the speaker. Her name is Melanie Summey, and she is probably the best speaker I have ever heard. I actually did not want her to stop talking, and normally I have no attention span whatsoever for listening to a talk. It was pretty darn sweet. I feel like I took a lot away from it. It was all about focusing on your foundation and making sure that it's strong so that we are ready for whatever comes your way. Very practical, and very applicable. One fun highlight from that trip is when Terah sat up in the middle of the night, in her sleep, and said "who's there??!!"
apparently, I replied "I am, and I have to pee!" and then I ran to the bathroom to pee. I do not remember that part. I just remember Terah yelling at the imaginary intruder, but Terah told me what my response was.

I can't believe I am 5 months pregnant already, these months have flown by! Definitely growing bigger by the day and I am feeling Rex move around in there all the time. He particularly enjoys to get all crazy when his mommy is trying to sleep. I am just now starting to feel him with my hand, but he likes to trick his daddy by freezing everytime he tries to feel it. Soon enough though! We had to make a trip to the ER two weeks ago at Mercy....everything was fine, but it made for some WONDERFUL stories! Mercy is located in the middle of Baltimore City, and we went there in the middle of a very cold night. We met some very special people. I will have to dedicate an entire blog post to those people...next time I promise.

Here's a teaser: Look for these characters in the upcoming post.
Smelly He/She
Gangrene Foot
Beyond Drunkity Drunk girl
Poo Chair
Transvesty


Anyway,I am honestly feeling great. I love life. I feel really blessed and really thankful. I hope that I will get better at living my life in a way that reflects that.

I do not plan on taking a million years to post again...

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Turnip

I am now 17 weeks pregnant and feeling really good, aside from being super tired. I am officially in the preggo clothes now, and fortunately I have lots of hand-me downs from friends and family. My mom is wonderful and took me shopping for a few desperately needed shirts yesterday. In my regular shirts (if I can squeeze into them) I look like a middle aged midget with a beer belly. So, thanks very much to my wonderful mom.
This pregnancy gets more real every day. I can feel the baby fluttering around in there now, it feels like I swallowed a decent sized goldfish! I can't feel it on the outside yet, so Daddy Wolf has yet to feel the alien-esque movement for himself. I look forward to that though! On March 25th, about two weeks, we will go for a sonogram to hopefully see if we are having a boy or a girl! Feel free to make your predictions, I think everyone knows mine:).
Work is a zillion times better right now. I am feeling much less stressed and that is really very good. I am just trying to get my sleepy butt out of bed on time to work out in the morning, the late sunrise is not going to help though!
I have been pondering/praying a lot today and I feel like God is trying to share some important and rather obvious things with me. I am not on this earth to glide by and "get through". I am here according to His will and His purposes. So why then have I made everything about what is easy, what is comfortable and what is fun? Not that any of those things are bad, but I don't think those should be my life goals. My life goals should be for things that are right and good. I am being lazy and I am ready to not be anymore. God has blessed me in more ways that I can count and I think it is time for me to truly grasp that and live a thankful life. I want to be more intentional, I want to be focused on goals and pray and trust God to attain them. I want to fight against apathy and work against my lazy nature. I have no interest in continuing to waste time. It is time to move forward. I want my child to look at their mom and respect the drive I have for the Lord, I want them to see that spiritual growth should never come to an end in this life. There is always more to learn and more to do. I have certainly not "arrived" and I need to stop living like I have.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Tidbits

Work has been a little better, and slightly less crazy. I am definitely developing a thicker skin through this experience, but I am really starting to feel run down, and very ready for my boss to come back to work( a few more weeks).

I am feeling more preggo every week. This week,at 15 weeks Baby Wolf is the size of an Apple! I have another OB appointment on friday, I'm looking forward to it. It's fun to see progress every month.
Today, I succumbed to preggo pants. They are just a million times more comfortable for me then regular jeans are at this point, and I am really tired of wearing sweat pants all the time.

As a little side note, I am collecting any baby items that are in decent/safe condition that people are needing to give away. I don't feel a strong need to get all brand new stuff, so if you or anyone you know is looking to get rid of baby furniture, clothes, toys, whatever....let me know!

This week wasn't the most delightful week ever. I was really sick with a sore throat,fever, congestion, and fatigue. I started feeling really bad last saturday and I tried to get into see the Doctor early in the week, but she had an emergency and was out of the office until wednesday. So I had to work throught the yuckiness most of the week. Its hard to call out to yourself from work. Around noon on Wednesday I was finally leaving to get to the Doctor, and then I stepped outside and saw that is was snowing/sleeting and the roads were a wee bit slushy. I was not about to be stopped though....I just decided to drive nice and slow. So, I get to about a mile from the office and I pass this car....that is in the woods. He apparently had hit a problem spot in the road and spun out all the way int he grass, he was ok, just stuck and his friends were helping him. I decided to slow down even more. Then, all of a sudden I am no longer steering the car...it is spinning and I cannot regain control and there's this lovely tree coming towards me. I braced myself for the tree smashing, but the curb pushed me out far enough so that I only grazed the tree. I think I went into the curb a couple times, and then finally stopped. I got out of the car and it looked mostly fine, our hubcap was smashed into little bits and the rim was all dented, the bumper had some scratches but that was about it. So I got back into the car and started driving the rest of the way to the Doctor, but it didn't want to drive straight anymore... I drove ten miles an hour and made very wide turns and eventually made it to the office. I found out that I have strep and that I was going to be very sore from the ice incident, so she prescribed some stuff to knock out the infection, tylenol from the pain and I went on my way.
My parents came and drove me since my car wasn't driveable. It seems like its just the alignment that needs to be fixed, but we don't have the final verdict yet. Our tires were in horrible condition so we are finally having those replaced for the first time since we got the car in 2006!
Good news is that I am finally feeling a little better, the antibiotics are working and I am much less sore today than I was right after the accident. Wolf and I are sharing the Camry until the Yaris gets fixed, which hopefully will be soon!

That about it for now....I will update more later in the week!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Shrimp, is a familiar nickname









So, this is our little critter.The top picture is the size at 6 weeks, the 2nd one is from five weeks when all you could see was the sack(sorry they are not in order) and the last one is just a week ago at 12 weeks!It's nuts how every week makes such a huge difference.The baby even flailed around like it had the hiccups during our OB visit, it was so crazy to see him moving around like that and not feel anything! There's really a baby in there...weird.

Last week baby was a lime, this week a Shrimp. I am very short and many friends called me shrimp for many years growing up. My poor kid will most likely be kind of shrimpy too, but its ok, small people are cool right??

Obviously, the OB appointment went well. Everyone was very nice and everything looks healthy and normal so far. Every time I hear that, it makes me feel very blessed and thankful.

Work has been a little nuts. However, I am learning a whole heck of a lot. I am doing things like...growing a back bone, asserting myself, and growing a very thick skin. If I just continue to remind myself of all that I am learning and the delightful experience I am gathering, just maybe I will remain intact over the next few weeks....maybe. Pray for me please. I feel very young and very small and very inadequate, but God's put me here for a reason and I gotta just do my best. On the plus side, I have been so exhausted that I have been sleeping better than I have in years! wahoo!

We got a wii fit this week. It's wonderful exercise...but it's cruel! When you step on the board that weighs you it goes "ohhh" in this little mickey mouse voice. Then mickey proceeds to tell you just how overweight you are and how badly you truly must need to work out...
It's so genius because it puts you in competition with yourself. I always want to be better than my last time in any given exercise. It's kicking my butt too, my calves are killing me!
My only real complaint is that it does not have big preggo option. I cannot inform it that I will be gaining weight due to the creature that is growing inside me...so it will just keep telling me how fat I am getting and pretty soon I will be considered obese! Maybe I should write a letter...?

Alrighty, I think thats enough updating for the moment. Have a most wonderful week!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Crack of Dawn = Perfect time for a new post!

Hello again friends,

I have been busy and not good at blogging these last 2 weeks, so today at 5 50 am, I will catch you up.
My boss is currently out of commission for this month, so that leaves me in charge of the center while she is gone. I was so nervous today because it would be the first time I had to decide whether to close or open due to the weather, thus the reason I have been up since 5. I am grateful that most of Maryland is closed and that outside my window there's nothing but ice, making my decision quite easy and giving me time to blog while I wait for all the calls and texts from staff and parents. I had to leave the message on our voice mail this morning about being closed, and I think I had to re-record about 8 or 10 times. I hate the sound of my voice on the phone!I am such a nerd.

In baby news, I am now 11 and a half weeks and he/she is the size of a fig till Sunday when Lime week begins! I am pretty much out of my jeans and in denial about having to buy new ones that I could maybe, you know, breathe in. I have gone from feeling sick on and off to being hungry 100% of time. I just don't like red meat or chicken right now. I need to learn some self control before I gain a million pounds. My first OB appointment is coming up on Friday so that will be exciting and will probably make all of this a little more real.Wolf will be coming with me and I really hope we get a chance to hear the little heartbeat.

I have enjoyed this snow even though its not a whole lot. Wolf, Mike,Winnie and I went on a walk in the woods yesterday and it was so beautiful out with everything being covered in the snow. We kind of felt like we were in Narnia or something. Winnie had the time of her life running like crazy through the woods and eating snow. She's been a very sweet and cuddly dog this last month or so, very unlike her. I wonder if she senses the fig....

Today is my sister Monica's birthday. I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am that she was put on this earth. She is a role model for me, an encourager, a friend, and one of the most selfless and compassionate people I know. She always knows how to help in the best possible way at the best possible time. She is a Godly woman and a beautiful sister, wife, mommy, and friend. I am so glad that she is only ten minutes down the road from me, she helps keep me sane when I am feeling on the edge of crazyness. She treats me like an adult, not like the child I feel like I am most of the time and spurs me on towards God and maturity. Thanks big sister. I love you so very much and I thank God that you are in my life.

So here are some more serious thoughts. I know, they come few and far between, so soak them in while you can.
Pregnancy has been causing me to face the fact that I really am a worrier. I can always find something to worry about, and generally I am good at hiding this. I cannot escape my own brain though. Before I was growing this little alien creature I worried about normal stuff like work, relationships, money,dieting...and now throw a baby into the mix! Here's whats good though. If I allowed myself to worry like I have the capacity to about this baby, I am pretty sure I would be INcapacitated, so I had to try to sort through it and make peace.
Here's the thing. God is in control. He is the only one who knows if my baby is ok or not every second of the day, He is the only one who is in control of that beautiful little life inside me. I, can only watch myself expand, be as healthy as possible, and pray. Matthew 6 is all about worrying and how silly it really is. There is nothing left for me to do, but trust God with it all. Coming to that point where I can trust Him with my baby is a daily decision and when I can do that, I realize that I can trust him with the petty stuff too. Actually, not can but need to. I will not be content to be a control freak worry monster anymore, I will fight to find peace in God who has more than proven that He is able to handle whatever may come my way. I can instead focus on what God is actively doing in my life, where He's leading me, what He's teaching me, and who I can encourage and love on. Do I know if in 6 months I will have a healthy baby after labor that was a breeze? Nope. I just know that regardless, I have a good God who's gonna provide all that I need whenever I need it.

Jesus says it better than me, so I will leave you with Matthew 6.:25-34

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.



Have an excellent and worry free day!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

It is so cold!

I am not enjoying the 27 degree weather without any snow...
I just want one good snowfall, during a weekday!

Anyways, weekly baby update:
-It's a grape this week
- I have a feeling Grape is a boy.
- I have a migraine.
- My belly is beginning to poof,probably only noticeable to me.It;s the only part of my belly that I just can't seem to suck in...

Not a whole lot to report other than that. It is nice to have a little break from all the Doctors visits. I am SO excited that 24 and Idol are back, annnnd House is back next week annnnd Lost soon after that! Sad that those are the most exciting things I have to report.

Oh, I know what I can talk about! I said I would start writing my car accident stories for ya.

Ok ready? Here is the 1st-ish one. There was sort of one before that, but it was so dumb and minor, it doesn't really count.

The first real one happend about 1 month before my wedding. I was super duper stressed out and crazy( you can be afraid when I have to preface thing's this way). I was having lunch at My sister in laws house with her and Lisa Svatek. I left to go and meet with the lady who would be making our cake and cupcakes for thre wedding. My car (affectionately known as Honky Cracker) was parked next to a big van so it was hard to see as I backed out, so I went very slowly. I see another big van coming, so clearly, I go to step on the brake. Unfortunately my foot had amnesia for a hot second. It hit the gas and I slammed into the side of this van so hard. I think it must have seemed like I was an evil little munchkin (ooooh, here he comes....whammmoo!gotcha!). The poor guy was so confused and it made such a loud noise that Lisa and Alyssa heard and came out to see what had happened. Needless to say, I was humiliated. Even more humliating, my trunk would no longer close, and my tail lights were hanging on by the wires. Duct tape...yes duct tape...held my trunk closed and my lights in. For abouut 2 months. People would point and laugh at me as they passed me on the road.
Honky Cracker is no longer in need of duct tape. But, the drivers side handle on the outside of the car does not work, therefore we have to crawl across the passenger side to get into the car. To add to its character, I also thought it would be super smart to pass a paint truck one day because it was going so slow while painting the yellow lines on the road. Now we have yellow tires and wheel wells.

Next time, I shall have another story for ya, but it wont be my fault!

Pray for snow!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Back to Reality

This week is not as hard as I had imagined. It's always difficult to get back to normal after being on a break. Work has been good and productive this week but not too crazy thankfully.My only real complaint is that I am so tired. I don't really seem to have the capacity to sleep deeply. I fall asleep ok and then I just wake up frequently and easily and never really get to that nice deep sleeping part. I don't feel so tired when I wake up, but then it hits me hard in the middle of the afternoon. I'm sure Kidney Bean(baby's name this week which is unfortunate because I do not enjoy beans) is also currently contributing to my exhaustion.

I had yet another Dr.s appointment today and it went well. Things seem to be progressing normally and my lovely Dr. is appeased at last!He is sending me off to an OB that he recommends strongly along with a letter to her about all my wonderful issues. I am also super excited because this OB is 4 minutes away from my house, hooray! However, it is hard to switch doctors after being with one who has taken such good care of you for so long. If you have any crazy GYN issues, I will send you right to him!

I am two months preggo now, and the strangeness of growing this little critter is continuing to grow. This week's cravings have been primarily focused on Tuna Sandwhiches from Panara with toasted wheat bread and chips, I have indulged in this two days in a row now and if I think about it for too long I will promptly begin to drool. Cheesecake with Cherries on top is the other one. I went to the grocery store last night after inhaling the joys of tuna, and got the stuff to make a cheesecake and a can of cherries to put on top. I came home, made the cheesecake, and went to grab the can on cherries. My mother has instilled in me an intense fear of food poisoning, so with that comes the ocd need to check expiration dates on things....even things that I bought at the store only moments ago. Good thing, because the stupid date on the can was 2007!!! What the boogy?!It ruined all my hopes and dreams of cheesecake with cherries on top....until today when my lovely friend bought me a new and appropriately dated can.
I am also happy to report that my hatred for chocolate is withering....hopefully that will continue and I can enjoy a lovely Ghiradelli Caramel filled chocolate by the end of the week.

Ok, one more quick note before I leave you.I don't curse very often but there's only one curse word that I truly hate. I said this naughty word today, a word that I very much hate hearing, much less saying. It was warranted though! I was driving up a road that leads to my house which is extremely twisty and windy and only two lanes with no shoulder. People often drift over the line slightly when coming around tight corners on this road so you always have to watch out. This person today did not merely drift the line. He was coming around he corner driving on the wrong side of the road completely and headed straight for me!His car was not anywhere near his side of the road. (Insert naughty expletive here). He swerved just in time and did not hit me, thank God.I feel that crazy drivers seem to drift toward me on a regular basis. In fact, maybe later this week I will tell you about more fun experiences between me and crazy driving people.

That is all for tonight, enjoy your week!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Lovely Vacation

Christmas was great! We had a lot of fun with friends and at my big family gathering on Christmas day. It has been wonderful to be at home and relax this week. Wolf and I are both off until Monday the 5th and we are attempting to be productive while we are home. The big mission for the week is our storage room. It is waaaaay out of control. Wolf started on it already and has made a lot of progress but there is still a lot to do. He is very sick with a terrible sinus infection so that project is on hold till his antibiotics kick in.

Baby Wolf is "Blueberry" this week. Blueberry is making his?/her? presence more known each day. I am increasingly sleepy and sicky feeling. I feel like I am going through some sort of cracked out pms, my emotions are all over the charts. I am also slowly beginning to outgrow my clothes..already.It's all good though because in 7 months, I get a baby!

For your entertainment, here are a couple of strange things that will make you laugh that have been preggo induced.

1. I cried when I woke up one morning and there was no ginger ale left. Generally, i average about one or two cries per year. I feel that this average may go up in '09.

2. I began to cry when one of my co-workers gave a me a blanket for the baby that has monkeys all over it, I love monkeys!

3. I hate chocolate all of a sudden.Tragic! I miss my peanut butter cups.

4. I want to eat subway everyday.

5. I am craving alchohol, but not giving in.

6. I wake up to pee several times a night.


I am sure I will continue to add to this list as we go along.

I am hoping to steer clear of this yucky sinus infection so that I can make good use of the rest of the week. We shall see how that goes!

Happy almost New Year!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas!

This will be short because I have many things to do! I went and had my third sonogram today and it was very exciting! Last week, they could only see the sack and not the baby or anything. Today, I saw my tiny little lentil sized baby and the heartbeat!!
This all means that my baby is in the right place and is currently healthy:).

Little Lentil totally made my Christmas today.

Thanks God for such an incredible present.

I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed holiday. I have been thinking a lot about how grateful I am for the beautiful people in my life and I am so excited to spend the holidays with my family and friends that I love so much.
I feel truly blessed.

Thank you to all of you who have been encouraging me and praying for us. It means a lot to me and I have definitely felt deeply cared for.

I will be blogging again soon after Christmas:)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Sesame!

Our little Poppy has already grown into a Sesame! Little Sesame and I have had quite a week.
Last Sunday is when I found out I was pregnant, so that obviously was very exciting and happy. Monday, I called the Dr. to tell him I was pregnant and let him know that I have been having a lot of abdominal pain for a couple weeks. I thought this was pretty normal because the whole reason I checked to see if I was pregnant was because my mom had similar pain during the beginning of her first pregnancy. Apparently, its not so normal and is alarming for a person like me with endometriosis. So, I was sent to the ER (aka-my home away from home). We got there around 11 am and I seriously wasn't super worried about anything, my body is weird so I expect my pregnancy to be weird. It wasn't until two hours later when I spoke to the Triage nurse that I began to be concerned.
MTN= mean triage nurse.

MTN: So you have been having some cramping?
Me: Yes
MTN: And I see you have a history of endometriosis
Me: Yes
MTN: And you're pregnant?
Me:Yes
MTN: Well that could mean you have an ectopic pregnancy.
Me: What's that?
MTN: Oh well its potentially fatal for you and there's nothing they can do for the baby.it's when the baby is growing somewhere other than inside your uterus. If its not caught in time, it will rupture.
Me: Ummm ok....
MTN: Ok, go ahead and go back to the waiting room and we'll call you when we're ready for your sonogram.

What has happened to bedside manner?At this point, my heart was pounding and I was starting to feel heart broken. How the heck can this woman make such a presumption after checking my temperature and blood pressure and asking a couple questions??
So, we waited...and waited...for a long time. Then another hour and a half later, I get called back for the ultrasound. The tech told me that sometimes she can see and sometimes she cant, so I kept asking her if she saw anything and all she said was "no" and "have you had any bleeding??". Then I was shipped back into the waiting room and I was barely holding it together. I cannot believe how much I already loved this poppy seed sized kiddo that I had only known existed for less than 24 hours. I really felt discouraged and so incredibly sad.
We waited for another 2 hours and got called for some more tests. MTN was just as cheery and encouraging as ever and it was becoming more and more difficult to hold myself together.
Meanwhile, my peaceful and sweet husband was a rock. He kept reminding me that God is in control and that all we can do is trust Him. He definitely kept me sane.

Finally around 5 I got called into a room by a wonderful nurse who was a friend of a friend. That was like a present from Jesus Himself. She was so incredibly kind and encouraging and excited for my baby instead of assuming the worst. The Dr. came in soon after that and basically told me it could be tons of different things but that its too early to tell. Then I went home.

I continued having increasing pain, pain like I have never before experienced and my fear continued to grow. Then, Thursday came around...the Hospital called and said this, "Hi, when you were in here on monday, your pee looked normal but it turns out that you have a bad bladder infection".
Huh, welp that was a relief! A wee bit annoyed at how things were handled, but mostly relieved. This is definitely the first and probably only time I will ever be happy to have a UTI.

My own lovely Dr. is not overly concerned and his instincts are that things are gonna be ok, but he's obviously keeping a close watch on things.

Good and important lessons learned after this roller coaster kind of week:
God is good, and He is so much bigger than me.
I need to have more faith.
Worry, fear, and anxiety are not helpful.
God hears me and responds in His way and time.
My husband is absolutely perfect for me.
I have an unbelievably amazing group of friends.
I gotta learn to trust God daily with the little things so that I am in good practice for the big things that come along.

Alrighty, I have gone on for long enough.
Keep on praying for little Sesame, whose heart will start to beat this week!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Poppy, not to be mistaken with poopy

It's been a month since I have blogged. There just wasn't a whole lot to write about.
The past couple of months have been pretty nuts. I have had four surgeries in 5 years for a condition I have called Endometriosis. It's a girly disease. I have an unusually aggressive form of this and it enjoys to attack my internal organs. There are not a whole lot of treatments, and after my last surgery in October, my doctor told me I had two options for treatment to avoid serious and potentially life threatening complications.Ready for the options??

1. Menopause- they put you on drugs for 6-9 months that throw you into artificial menopause. I have already done this and my body reacted horrendously to the drugs, to the point where I could not physically function in everyday life.It was hands down the worst 9 months of my life. The only difference this time, is that they have a new drug that is paired with it, which increases the side effects. What fun!


2. Get pregnant by August 09


So, we opted to try for the baby.

I guess this was the right time, because after our first month of trying... I am pregnant!

Four weeks. It's so early that anything could happen, but I am (trying really hard) to trust God with our little baby who is currently the size of a Poppy Seed. We have decided to call the baby whatever its being compared to in size that week. Week 4 is poppy seed week.


I am considered a high risk pregnancy because of all my issues, so I am being closely monitored by my wonderful doctor. I think he was my favorite person to tell. He is very sweet, but not the most emotional man. When he walked in to see me today, he was beaming! I would even go as far as to say that he was giddy with joy. He then proceeded to tell me how we "didn't waste any time", and "i am so happy" and "i am so proud of you guys!". He walked me through my records and surgeries and explained in detail why it is so wonderful that I am going to have a baby.

I have to get blood tests twice a week, sonograms once a week, and a doctor visit weekly until he is satisfied that its all good. Apparently I am also on a special"list" of people who if they call, they get put through to my dr. at any time of day, no matter what. So, as crazy as this all is, I feel well taken care of.

I know most people like to wait a while before they tell people they are pregnant to make sure that everything's ok, and I totally understand why. However for me, that doesn't work. First, because I am not good at keeping happy secrets, and also, being so high risk, I want the people I care about to know and pray for our baby and for us as soon as possible! If we have to go through something hard, we will be glad to have amazing family and friends in our lives to walk and pray us through it.
Telling people has been my favorite part.

here are some of my favorite reactions...

"You're pregnant? How'd that happen??"
" What did you say? I don't think I heard you... No, you're playing a mean trick on me...no you're pulling my leg"-mom

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
-i will give you one guess who that was, anyone?


We are so overjoyed and so thankful for this. Thanks to all of you who have already been praying for us and with us. Thanks for all the encouragement and excitement. We feel really loved. Please keep praying for Poppy and for us as we begin this crazy new adventure. Feel free to give any advice you might have to share!

I will let ya know what Poppy's name is next week:).

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Oh the Quirkiness

OK, Here is my list of quirky things.
I cannot promise I am going to limit myself to 7.

1. I have a bit of a procedure for eating Klondike bars. First, I have to crack all the chocolate with a spoon. The I eat all the chocolate part except the bottom layer. I finally eat the ice cream with that bottom layer of chocolate.

2. I hate nails that are longer than my skin. I don't like the way if feels to touch something with my nail and I don't like people to touch my nails if they are too long. Surprisingly, I do enjoy manicures.

3. I like digital numbers to be even, like the volume control on a radio or tv. It will bother me to leave it on 11, I bump it to either 10 or 12.

4. If I am eating a candy, like skittles or M&M's, I need to have an even number on each side of my mouth.

5. I like the smell of vacuuming.

6. I really hate a certain part of the anatomy that starts with Ni and ends with les. I hate the word and the part itself. I wish they did not exist.

7. I am terrified of "animal people". It really creeps me out to see people dressed up like animals. Going to see CATS would be basically a nightmare for me.


8. I eat the pepperoni of my pizza first, then I eat the pizza.

9. When I eat bagels, I rip them into tiny pieces and then dip them into the cream cheese.

10. The smell of eggs makes me feel ill.

11. I don't eat the ends of things. Burgers and Bagels have ends to me.

12. I really don't like the word "urine". Really don't like it.


Ok, a nice even 12 things for me! Feel free to think I am officially crazy in case you didn't already know...

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Such a nerd...I have become

Today we got a very exciting new toy...it's a vacuum.That actually sucks things up and cleans things! We have had hand me down vacuums up to this point and recently I broke our remaining old and crusty canister by attempting to vacuum a rug that was way to thin and the thing tried to eat it instead of clean it.
I feel that I have reached a new stage in life, where the highlight of the month is that I have a new vacuum.
It really is cool though! I had no idea how much dog hair lived in our carpet, it's really quite gross.
I will not bore you with all the details, but I am quite thrilled about it.

We have a mouse in our house, most likely mice.... Wolf has only seen one, but I guess there's never really just one. At first, I only found his "evidence" in one particular spot in the pantry by the dog food. So I set up the friendly traps, the ones that will just trap them and not kill them so that I could catch our little furry and unwelcome guest and set him free in the meadows. I even named him Reepicheep after the warrior mouse from the Narnia books. Reepicheep is very sneaky. He comes to his spot and poops right next to the traps. Then I found the cracker that I had placed inside the trap, right next to the trap, he had somehow gotten it out and did not get imprisoned.
My mom got us a storage bin for Winnie's food so that it was less accessible but I think he is still interested in snacking from his traps. I was still ok as long as he stayed away from our food, I still had hope for a safe entrapment. Until last night. Terah was at my house and we discovered that he was not keeping to his little pantry spot, there was crap all behind our fridge and behind our hutch where we have our kitchen appliances on. Where he really crossed the line was in the cardboard box where my diet cokes are, we found poo. Which means he may have crawled on top of the cans. Which means, Reepicheep must die. You don't mess with Mary's diet coke. I washed all the cans, and Terah was amazing and vacuumed and mopped the floor and basically reorganized my kitchen, since I am not technically allowed to do those things right now.
The mouse poison is out. Hopefully the little mouse community that has been partying in my home will soon come to end.


Yes, I do realize that it is pathetic that it took violating my beverage of choice to come to this, but I am a sucker for things that are cute and fluffy.One day, once I convince Wolf, and we win the lottery, and it becomes legal in Maryland, I will have a pet monkey.Just a little one that I can train to do very helpful things and he wont throw his poo at people.Thats just not polite.
Let me know if you have any mouse eliminating tricks!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Back!

It's been a little bit since my last post. Last Wednesday I had surgery and I have since been doing absolutely nothing! I don't think I have ever been so useless in my whole life. I am not supposed to lift anything over 5 pounds for 3 weeks.
It has been kind of like some sort of strange vacation. I love being home with Wolf all day and my family and friends have been amazing. My sweet mom did all our laundry (and it looked much better then when I do it), my sister who is nine months pregnant, came and cleaned our bathroom and organized some things. We have had food brought to us and company and I am so aware of how blessed I am with the amazing people that are in my life.
Thanks for all the "get well" notes and wishes and know that I so appreciate all you wonderful people. You made a yucky time a lot less yucky.

I don't really have much else to write about since I haven't really done anything.

I am going back to work next Wednesday, I am sure I will have more exciting thing's to share about then!